Author's Note
This is the 100th episode. Thank you as always.
——What a thing to say.
As I watched my former guardian knight kneel in front of me, crying and pleading, I clutched my chest tightly.
I had no idea that Captain Curtis was suffering so much.
I had underestimated the loyalty of the guardian knight ——no, Canopus. The fact that he had let me die without even being able to become a shield was an event that Canopus was deeply ashamed of and could never overlook.
Perhaps Canopus regretted it over and over again, more than I had imagined. Perhaps he blamed himself over and over again. How painful it must be to regret "I should have done this" when something can no longer be changed.
—— I had never even thought about that until I saw Captain Curtis's tears just now. I should have known that Captain Curtis— Canopus very well that he was always suppressing his emotions and putting on a calm face.
I suddenly remembered what Captain Curtis had said yesterday about the people of the remote island.
"The residents are dying to repay the Great Saint for her kindness. If she is hurt because they neglected to do what they could, they will regret it for the rest of their lives. They will be haunted by the guilt of what they 'didn't do' until the day they die. And the emotions that haunt them are negative. Hey, Lady Fi, that kind of life would be very unfortunate for them." (Curtis, in Fia's mind)
Maybe he was talking about himself. Perhaps he was venting the suffering he experienced as Canopus.
Even though the hint was so clear, I didn't even notice it...
I knelt down in front of Captain Curtis and took both of his hands.
"I'm sorry, Canopus. I died without my permission. I should have realized with a little thought that you would suffer if you were left behind..." (Fia)
Tears threatened to spill while I was speaking, so I stopped and bit my lip.
It's cowardly to shed tears while apologizing. Captain Curtis would have no choice but to forgive me.
However, my tear ducts betrayed my will, and tears began to well up around my eyes. Still, as I desperately tried to hold back the tears, my insensitive former guardian knight let out a cry of surprise.
"...Lady Fi, are you by any chance crying for me?" (Curtis)
Yes, yes, you made me cry just yesterday. I was crying so hard, but what did you think those tears were for?
I glared at the former guardian knight in dismay, his insensible nature still the same, but the tears I had been holding back just spilled out of my eyes.
"These tears don't count. It's your fault for being so insensitive." (Fia)
Saying this immediately, Captain Curtis hung his head dejectedly.
"Yes, I know. You shouldn't shed tears for me." (Curtis)
"No, you're not! I'm apologizing to you, so crying would be cowardly. Then you'll have no choice but to forgive me." (Fia)
However, Captain Curtis didn't seem to understand what I was trying to say and tilted his head quizzically.
"Regardless of whether I shed tears or not, I will not reject you. In the first place, I am in a position to ask for your forgiveness, and you have not committed any sins that require your forgiveness. …Ah, no, my apologies. Perhaps that was just a subtle way of warning me about my attitude when I apologized while crying?" (Curtis)
"Not at all! I left you all alone. It was my..." (Fia)
I started to speak in a hurry, but I couldn't finish the sentence. This was because, something that rarely happens, Captain Curtis interrupted me.
"Lady Fi, it is entirely the fault of the guardian knight that I was unable to complete my duties, but the reverse is not true. If I regret or suffer because I was unable to fulfill my duties, that is my own problem... 300 years ago, after I let you die alone, I retrained my body, determined that if I were ever to serve you again someday, I would never make the same mistake. Unfortunately, my body in this life is too weak, but it should improve in a few months." (Curtis)
Saying this, Captain Curtis bit his lip and narrowed his eyes as if to endure the pain.
"Yesterday, in the cave, I expressed my desire to serve you without even apologizing for not fulfilling my duties in my previous life. It was a completely selfish act. I am sorry. I should have first apologized and then received your permission to serve me. ...Lady Fi, I am truly sorry. And please, ...please, let me protect you once more." (Curtis)
As he said this, Captain Curtis bowed his head deeply as if pleading.
I stared at Captain Curtis and spoke as gently as I could.
"Curtis, there is nothing for which you need to apologize. Looking back at the past, you can say anything you want. So, if you thought the choice you made was right at the time, then surely it wasn't a mistake? I think it's strange to conclude that it was a mistake based on the outcome." (Fia)
"But, Lady Fi...!!" (Curtis)
"Hey, Curtis, ...from the moment I died as Serafina until now, I have never once thought that it was your fault, nor have I ever held a grudge against you." (Fia)
".....................I am aware of that." (Curtis)
Perhaps my persuasion worked, as the former guardian knight finally agreed with what I had said, although he looked distressed.
Seizing this opportunity, I began to persuade him with great enthusiasm.
"Curtis, you have been reborn. You have a new life. And I'm no longer a princess, so you don't need to be tied down to me." (Fia)
I stared at Captain Curtis and spoke slowly, as if convincing him.
Canopus had been reborn as Curtis. His life was his. Instead of retracing his life as a Canopus, he should live a new life as a Curtis.
I spoke to him with such feelings in mind, but my former guardian knight seemed to be trapped in the duties of his previous life, and in the end, he just kept repeating the same things.
"Serving the Most Merciful Saint has been my pride and joy. Will you allow me to regain that pride once more?" (Curtis)
Captain Curtis stared at me with serious eyes and I swallowed hard.
"...C, Curtis, there are many fun things in the world. You are a serious person, so you are bound by the duties of your previous life, but it's time for you to be free." (Fia)
Even though I was saying it for Captain Curtis's sake, for some reason Captain Curtis didn't look grateful at all, and instead replied with a troubled look on his face.
"...If I may be so bold as to ask, why does Lady Fi have the powers of a saint and yet keep that fact a secret?" (Curtis)
"Huh?" (Fia)
When I asked him again about the sudden change in topic, he looked back at me with a serious expression.
"Looking at your actions, I see that you are using the power of the Saint while trying to hide it. In other words, you want to be a Saint, but there are inconveniences that prevent you from openly declaring it. Or perhaps you are hiding from something?" (Curtis)
So sharp! Captain Curtis is incredibly sharp! ...Why are all the knights around me so sharp? The scary thing is that while you may let your guard down and think they don't notice because they usually don't say anything out loud, in reality they are watching, listening, noticing, and when it's necessary they will put it right in front of your face!
"I, I never told you! I, I have a familiar. A powerful black dragon that is one of the top three on the continent! The black dragon will protect me from everything." (Fia)
Considering how upset I was, a brilliant answer came out of my mouth.
...Y-yes. I had the strongest monster, Zavilia! Zavilia is so strong that he can defeat the Blue Dragon in the blink of an eye, making him the perfect guardian! Plus, Zavilia is going to protect me too.
As I nodded and gazed at Captain Curtis, the captain began to look around curiously.
"Where is that black dragon? I can't find it anywhere." (Curtis)
"Ugh... I-it's not a lie! However, the Black Dragon said he wanted to become king, so he's just away for a while now. But, he's connected to me, so if anything happens, he'll show up right away!" (Fia)
Upon hearing what I said, Captain Curtis suddenly let out a sarcastic laugh.
"The Black Dragon is young. Or perhaps he does not understand the meaning of separation. You should never take your eyes off something important, even for a moment." (Curtis)
——That mocking look seemed directed not at Zavilia, but at myself.
Author's Note
Thank you for always reading.
Last time, I mentioned that Volume 1 of the book would be reprinted, but let me add a bit more information.
The content of Volume 1 of the book is the same in all three editions: first, second, and third.
Both the "25,000 characters (6-7 chapters of the web version) of additional content" that we introduced last time, and "Another Beginning Story," have been added to Volume 1 of all the books.
I received several comments saying, "The reprinted book has additional content, doesn't it?" ... Yes, the fact that there are multiple identical comments means that my writing style has completely caused misunderstanding.
I am truly sorry for writing a document that was misleading even though people were reading it.
Or maybe it's because I've never really been exposed to the contents of the book.
...Now that I think about it, this was the first time I gave a detailed introduction to the contents of Volume 1.
I wonder what I've been doing, having received such a wonderful book (yes, I'm regretting it now).
Well, I feel bad that I can just apologize after you've taken the time to read the afterword, so could I tell you a bit more about the additions to Volume 1 that I wasn't able to introduce last time?
Volume 1 includes "Another Beginning Story" as well as the "RUUDO Family Meeting."
In the web story, there is a scene where Fia considers the Black Dragon to be familiar, and the Ruud family and everyone in the Knights' Territory find out.
Immediately after this scene was posted online, we received many comments from readers saying, "The black dragon is the guardian beast of the kingdom, isn't it? It's strange that his father and brothers didn't report this to the country, even though he made such an amazing monster familiar!"
I thought that was absolutely true, so I added some more information to help explain it better.
Judging from the results, it seems like the question is "Who is the strongest member of the RUUDO family?"
...Really, I'm always missing something important.
Last time, I wrote, "My editor, illustrator, designer, and others all brought their wonderful talents to the table, resulting in a truly wonderful book," but I should have put "all the readers" first.
The book version has been revised and updated from the content published on the web, and we have taken into consideration the comments received from our readers. We incorporated all the comments that were suitable for reflection, and that is why we have created such a wonderful book.
I'm sorry that my thanks are at the very end.
Thanks to all of you, we have created a wonderful book.
Thank you very muchヽ(*´□`*)ノ
Also, if the book isn't available at your bookstore, you can be sure to get it by ordering it.
Since you have asked me a question, I will answer it.
Thank you for reading this long article to the end.