As soon as Cerulean finished speaking, a deep silence fell over the room. Because not a single person said a word.
Seeing Cerulean remained silent with a stiff expression on his face, I felt indescribable emotions. And I thought it was only natural that he should dislike the Queen Dowager.
If his lover was in danger right in front of him, and he had prayed from the bottom of his heart for him to save him, and yet he received no attention, it seemed only natural that he would feel regret and hatred the more he thought about his lover. It was unclear whether the Queen Dowager actually managed to save Colette, but perhaps Cerulean found it hard to accept the Queen Dowager's decision not to try to save Colette.
But... I wondered if the Queen Dowager was still sad that she couldn't save Colette. At the very least, the Queen Dowager had wanted to heal Commander Savis when he returned from defeating monsters, and it was a characteristic of a saint to have a strong desire to heal someone.
Perhaps the Queen Dowager acted in a way that prioritized the things that were important to her, so as not to lose anything important to her. At that time, what was important to the Queen Dowager and what was important to Cerulean did not match, and so the two of them broke up.
Furthermore, the Queen Dowager's attitude and words hinted at her treating the saints with special privileges, which likely only increased Cerulean's animosity.
"How can she be considered special and deserving of preferential treatment when she cannot even save one of her fellow saints?"
As I was thinking about this, Cerulean shook his head as if he didn't understand.
"I still can't understand the Queen Dowager's actions at that time. Her priorities may have been different from mine, but still... I was deeply moved by the fact that she could remain so indifferent to Colette, the person I, her son, truly desired, who was about to die right in front of me." (Cerulean)
The Queen Dowager's true intentions were unclear. However, the sight of the Queen Dowager, who looked at the dying Colette without changing her expression or moving a finger, must have seemed completely incomprehensible to Cerulean.
If we believe the Queen Dowager's words, then she should have healed Commander Savis's injuries after he returned from the dragon slaying, but if Commander's injuries had only been minor, Cerulean would have found it even more difficult to accept. But...
"Cerulean, I don't know the extent of the Queen Dowager's abilities as a saint. But if she had the magical power to save both Colette and Commander Savis, I believe she would have tried to save both." (Fia)
Perhaps it was because we were unable to do that that the tragedy ten years ago occurred. I tried to say what I was thinking, but Cerulean twisted his lip.
"I wonder." (Cerulean)
Apparently Cerulean thought that the Queen Dowager would not have helped Colette no matter what. I wondered if it was really true if that's what he felt having seen it up close, and Cerulean continued speaking with a sarcastic look on his face.
"In any case, the Queen Dowager chose what was important to her. Instead of saving my lover, who was barely recognized by the people, she chose to save Savis, who was already renowned as a brave and courageous knight, and earn the admiration of everyone. Ah, no matter what, the Queen Dowager will never stop being First-ranked Saint!" (Cerulean)
If we were to believe the Queen Dowager's words, she wanted to save Commander Savis at all costs, so she was conserving her magical powers. I couldn't tell that it was wrong just by looking at his actions, but... Just as I was thinking that, Cerulean spoke thoughtfully, "This is just my opinion, though."
"There's something called superhuman strength. In dire situations, you can exert more power than usual. I think the saint's abilities are similar. Only when you have the desire to save someone and are desperate to do so can you exert your true strength, or even more. So, if someone with a heart like the Queen Dowager were to calmly select those they can save, they would only be able to save those whose abilities are below the Queen Dowager's." (Fia)
I somehow understood what Cerulean was trying to say. Surely he was an idealist.
"Cerulean, your thinking is consistent. Earlier you said, 'If one does not use their power when it is necessary, then it is the same as having no power. Such a person is not a saint or anything!!' But perhaps this is why you chose Colette to be the saint to stand beside you." (Fia)
When I spoke up a thought that had suddenly occurred to me, Cerulean asked me again in a confused tone.
"What do you mean?" (Cerulean)
"Colette always seemed to be using her full power in healing magic and trying to heal people, so she must be your ideal image of a saint, right?" (Fia)
Perhaps to a Cerulean, the level of a saint's abilities didn't really matter. What's important to him was how hard she tried as a saint to heal another person.
"...Now that you mention it, that's true. I hadn't noticed it until now though." (Cerulean)
Saying this, Cerulean twisted his lip.
"The difference in innate abilities cannot be made up for by hard work. So, it is wrong to elevate someone as a First-ranked Saint simply because they were born as a saint with high abilities. In reality, they have no compassion, and they only choose who they heal for their own convenience, not making the most of their saintly powers...isn't that the same as having low abilities? That's why I wanted Colette to become a First-ranked Saint and completely overturn the standards of what a saint should be!!" (Cerulean)
As Cerulean bit his lip and said that, I finally understood what he wanted to do. He saw a saint not in her ability, but in her attitude.
On the other hand, I had no idea what Commander Savis and Captain Cyril were thinking. Why was SHIRIRUDANCHOU, who respected all saints, so harsh towards the Empress Dowager? And to begin with, it's not even clear whether Commander Savis disliked the Queen Dowager, was uncomfortable around her, or didn't feel anything for her.
However, it seemed like these two wouldn't tell me even if I asked. Besides, the biggest issue today wasn't everyone's feelings towards the Queen Dowager in the first place...
"Are you angry that we recommended you to the selection committee without your permission?" (Cerulean)
Yes, this was it!
Cerulean asked me worriedly, and I tilted my head to the side to look back.
"I'm not angry, but I'm surprised. And I don't understand it at all. I'm a knight, so there's no way I can attend the First-ranked Saint selection meeting, right?" (Fia)
After giving the obvious answer, there was a moment of silence. It was as if everyone was thinking about what to say, and it made me wonder what that meant. Apart from Curtis, no one else would know that I was a saint. So why didn't anyone answer, "That's right! There's no way a knight can attend the selection meeting"?
Curtis seemed to think the same way, as he asked Cerulean with a stern look on his face.
"It's as Lady Fi says. Lady Fi is a knight, not a saint. Knowing that, why did you recommend her as a participant in the First-ranked Saint selection committee?" (Curtis)
Cerulean then put his hand to the back of his neck in a troubled expression, and replied while looking back and forth between me and Captain Curtis.
"You're right. It's true, but Fia is the exception. That's because she has many sacred stones imbued with magical power. With that, she'll be able to get through the selection meeting." (Cerulean)
"Huh, that's a scam!" (Fia)
When I let out a cry of surprise, thinking that cheating was not okay, Cerulean muttered softly.
"...the use of sacred stones is not prohibited at the Selection Council." (Cerulean)
That sounded like a child's excuse.
"That's probably because everyone assumes that holy stones aren't used in the selection meeting! Or maybe holy stones are rare and not many people know about them. Either way, if I were to participate in the selection meeting, I wonder if I'll be ranked as a saint." (Fia)
When I asked that, even SERURIAN seemed to find it difficult to answer and remained silent.
"But I'm a knight, so I can't live as a saint forever. Besides, the magic of the holy stone will eventually wear off, right? When that happens, it will become clear that I'm not a saint!" (Fia)
When I complained, wondering why I had to explain something so obvious, Cerulean pushed his bangs aside in annoyance.
"Yes, that's true, but... Fia doesn't need to win. We just need to let the Queen Dowager and her protégé know that there is a powerful, threatening saint in this world." (Cerulean)
Cerulean stopped talking and looked up at Captain Cyril as if asking for help. Therefore, Captain Cyril spoke up, but somehow what the captain said was a more extreme version of Cerulean's.
"In my opinion, it is not enough to simply let Saint Rose, who was appointed by the Queen Mother to succeed her, know that there is a stronger Saint. A Saint who follows in the Queen Dowager's footsteps should not be chosen as the First-ranked Saint."
Author's Note
Thank you for always reading!
I'm a bit worried about what to do next, so I'll be taking a break for about two weeks to a month to sort things out.
I hope to resume as soon as possible, so I will do my best.
We apologize to those who have been waiting, and thank you for your patience.