Chapter 181

Reward Dinner, or a Discussion About the Ideal Saint

Published: 20 June 2024

 

Well, I was happy to be praised by Commander, but the next moment I found myself tilting my head and wondering what he was talking about.

 

"Um... so, what were we talking about?" (Fia)

This is bad. I forgot what I had just said, so I asked Commander, but he didn't get angry and answered my question in a calm voice.

"I'm wondering if Cerulean is putting a strain on you." (Savis)

 

Well, he was the one who asked the question, but I was impressed by how kind Commander Savis was to answer me, a subordinate, so carefully.

However, I frowned when the Commander motioned to the maid standing behind me to bring me some fruit juice.

I took it back. If he gave me flavored water and then try to take away this delicious drink in exchange, that's not very kind of him.

 

Thinking that my precious drink might be stolen, I gripped my still-full wine glass tightly and opened my mouth.

"Well, I am currently apprenticed to Cerulean, so as an apprentice I have to obey most of what he tells me. But I chose to become his apprentice, so I don't see it as a burden." (Fia)

 

That's right. If I remembered correctly, originally, Commander Savis was going to be married soon, so I became an apprentice to a jester to improve my performance at the banquet.

"Well, I became Cerulean's apprentice out of a desire to celebrate Commander Savis, so even if a great burden is placed on me, it will be a test of my great love for Commander. Therefore, I will accept any burden, yes." (Fia)

 

I put my hands to my chest and spoke as if to make an oath, and Commander raised one hand slightly.

With that gesture, the maids in the room all left at once.

As I had predicted, the glass of fruit juice was placed on the table and the bottle of wine was taken away instead.

 

"Well, since my drink has been taken away, I guess this is the end for the night," I thought dejectedly, sipping the last of my glass carefully when Commander asked me a question.

"What do you mean, a celebration for me?" (Savis)

 

"Hehehe, it's the story of how Commander waited for 10 years for the one and only woman! I heard that you were going to marry the most beautiful saint in the country, so I became Cerulean's apprentice so that I could perform the best show to match that!!" (Fia)

Ah, I said it.

On the day, I had planned to surprise him with some amazing trick, but I'd already said it, I thought to myself. I glanced up at Commander, and for some reason he narrowed his eyes as if he was wary.

 

"Oh, what? I thought you would be happy, but are you not?" (Fia)

As I tilted my head to the side, wondering what that meant, Commander spoke in his usual low voice. Yes, that's a nice voice.

 

"I see, there's no way you would have come to that conclusion on your own, so it must have been suggested by someone like Fabian. You have some great brains around you." (Savis)

"Umm?" (Fia)

Not understanding what he was saying, I tilted my head the other way.

 

Commander Savis then finished the wine he was holding and placed the glass on the table.

"If you don’t remember any of our conversation here, then I’ll be honest with you… but there is nothing to celebrate. Marrying a self-centered, self-righteous, and self-exhibiting ‘Saint’ is an act to be despised." (Savis)

 

"What?! That's a very unkind statement from a Commander! N-No, just because they're Saints doesn't mean they all have the same traits, and Charlotte is at least a good girl. Huh? Or rather, shouldn't you marry someone you love? After all, you're going to live together forever." (Fia)

 

Surprised by this unbecoming statement from a Commander, I tried to retort, but he simply replied.

"For me, marriage is an obligation. If it's not necessary, I have no intention of ever getting married, no matter who the partner is." (Savis)

"What?! I-if that's the case, then maybe obligations are important. I think it's more fun living together than spending all your time alone." (Fia)

 

Because ever since I had Zavilia by my side, every day had become more enjoyable.

Just talking about what happened that day, laughing or getting angry together, made me feel many times more fulfilled than being alone.

 

Even though I spoke from the heart, Commander flatly denied it.

"It's a difference of opinion. I'm content being alone... By the way, Fia, there's something I'd like to ask you. Previously, you said, 'The Saint is the knight's shield,' but has your opinion changed?" (Savis)

 

I didn't know why Commander was asking me this again, but I nodded immediately.

My opinion hadn't changed in 300 years. It's not going to change in just six months.

"Yes, nothing has changed! I believe that the Saint is a knight's shield, and always a source of salvation." (Fia)

 

"……is that so?" (Savis)

Commander Savis replied, looking disappointed with my answer.

So, I thought Commander might have wanted me to deny the Saint.

 

But that's impossible.

Because, from the bottom of my heart, I thought the Saint was wonderful.

 

"Commander Savis has probably never met a proper saint." (Fia)

The original Saintess would more easily protect the knights and make them many times stronger, so she should not be something that the always fair and just Commander would detest.

 

"If you could just go to the battlefield with a saint who is exactly as she should be, I think you'd understand what I mean..." (Fia)

But I can't go with him, so what should I do?

 

As he folded his arms and thought deeply, Commander tapped his fingers on the table.

"You are referring to the Saintess from 300 years ago. At that time, there was a group called the ‘Saintess Knights’ within the Knights’ Order, so they may have been able to protect the knights in accordance with your ideals." (Savis)

 

"Ah, that's right!" (Fia)

I felt like he understood what I was trying to say, and I agreed with enthusiasm.

Wow, Commander, you really are knowledgeable, knowing so much about the knights from 300 years ago!

 

"But those saints were lost a long time ago. And I'm not nostalgic, so I can't expect the same from the saints we have now." (Savis)

 

"……That may be the case, right?" (Fia)

With the spirits gone, the saints had less magical power to use, and because their forms were distorted, they likely didn't understand what the right thing to do was.

 

Moreover……

"If the use of magic is restricted by church rules, it will be difficult to produce outstanding saints. Just like with a sword, the more you use healing magic, the better you will be, and if you don't use it, your skill will deteriorate." (Fia)

 

However, I would like Commander Savis to take me to the battlefield as a saint in a true form.

Just once would be enough, and Commander would surely change his view of the Saint.

 

"I hope that one day Commander Savis will meet the right Saint. I'm sure it will only take an instant to change your opinion!" (Fia)

 

When I said that, Commander Savis pursed his lip.

"...You're a child. That's why you can speak of your ideals with a sparkle in your eyes. You don't know that there are some things that can't be fulfilled, and some things that can't be helped." (Savis)

 

As he spoke, Commander stared into the distance as if remembering a past event.

Then he went silent.

The memories the Commander was remembering could be of Cerulean and Colette, or Captain Cyril and his mother, or even the Commander himself.

Or maybe it was something else entirely, but either way the look on Commander's face was one of pain that brought sadness to anyone who saw it.

 

So, even though I knew I shouldn't respond to Commander's words, I just couldn't help myself and said just one thing while still staring at the table.

"Of course, there are times when my wishes haven't come true. But if I don't give up and keep trying, maybe one day my wishes will come true. That's what I tell myself." (Fia)

 

Commander didn't reply, so I looked up and looked him directly in the eye.

Perhaps it was because I was drunk, or perhaps it was because the scene reminded me of the time I had dined together in this very room, but the image of the strongest knight with whom he had spent a long time 300 years ago overlapped with Commander Savis.

 

——I too had always been at the heart of the Knights' Order and had continued to bear the responsibilities that came with that position.

Even though I was only watching from the sidelines, I could still understand how difficult the situation was.

Except, while we laugh and cry together, Commander Savis had no one.

 

It seemed so lonely and painful to me that I couldn't help but speak up.

"Although Commander denies the existence of the Saint, you've spoken of her many times. So, even if you don't realize it, the Saint is very important to you. If you ever despair of everything, and yet the Saint can become a source of support for you, please tell me. At that time, I will show you the Saint as she should be." (Fia)

 

For a moment, Commander looked at me as if thinking, then asked me as if to confirm.

"Are you going to show me the ideal saint you speak of?" (Savis)

 

"Yes" (Fia)

I replied firmly, still staring at Commander.

 


Author's Note

Thank you for your continued patronage this year.

I look forward to working with you again next year o(^-^)o


*The spelling of the characters and places may be different from the official or any other translation website. Click here to see the list.