——"What am I living for?"
When I asked myself that question, there was always only one answer.
"For Atonement"
That beautiful, shining crimson hair, those bright golden eyes filled with will, those white arms that emanated compassion...atonement for the sins of losing them from this world.
I was willing to pay any sacrifice, price, or suffering for that purpose, but on that day, at that time, and at that place, my heart broke.
No matter what happens, my heart no longer hurts...
"All of our subjects warmly welcome the birth of the new Emperor of our Arteaga Empire!"
The voice of the Imperial Prime Minister was heard in the throne room of the Arteaga Empire's imperial castle.
There were so many people surrounding me sitting on the throne that they filled the large room.
A row of Imperial nobles and knights knelt down on one knee to show their utmost respect, their heads bowed to their knees.
The people lined up were all famous nobles and knights throughout the continent, a scene that accurately represented the current state of the Arteaga Empire, said to be the most powerful nation on the continent.
It would have been a scene that would have excited anyone with even the slightest desire for power or fame, but... As usual, my heart was calm as I looked at the scene, and it did not evoke any excitement or emotion.
...Ah, I must be truly broken that my heart won't move even in a situation like this.
As I calmly said this to myself, I slowly looked around.
Everyone hung their heads and waited for me to say something.
Beside me, the former emperor was watching with satisfaction.
Despite my bad manners, I crossed my legs with one ankle resting on the other knee, rested my chin on the throne, and looked around at the kneeling vassals.
"This is Emperor Castor. From now on, serve me well."
Several people's shoulders jumped as if they were surprised when they heard my words.
They must have been upset because the emperor's name was different from what he had expected.
However, with her death, I threw away the name I was born with, and I had no intention of using it again.
I believed that my role in life was to stay by her side and protect her. With her death, my role was over, and I gave up the name and the life that came with it.
...The shining days with the Great Saint were a thing of the past.
There was no way I would be able to continue to use the name that shined brightly and was filled with honor because I was by her side.
However, even though it was a name that had been abandoned, the people standing in line seemed to have heard more or less about the achievements associated with that name, and not a single one of them objected to my accession to the throne.
As a result, my accession to the throne was accepted by the Empire's senior vassals with deafening silence.
――On the other hand, among the people of the empire, I seemed to be seen as something frightening.
As if to prove this, right after I ascended the throne, I began to be called the "Black Emperor" behind my back.
Originally, I wasn't called the "Black Knight" because of my black hair and black eyes, but simply because of the Emperor's harshness.
When referring to a person's body as "black," many people associated it with "demon."
In other words, I was seen as an object of fear, so much so that I was even hinted at as a demon.
...However, that view was not completely wrong.
Because I became emperor in order to make my wish come true.
What I wanted was the annexation of many lands, including neighboring countries—To achieve that, I was sure there would be wars everywhere in the future.
Rule as much land as possible and explore all of those lands.
To carve out every land on the continent, step into it, and search for the one and only demon—that was my true desire.
——To find the cunning, cruel, and evil demon who stole the beautiful hope from the world...
That was all I wanted, the only way to complete my atonement.
...How many years have passed since then?
As the date was about to change, I was standing alone outside looking at the full moon, when suddenly I heard a voice call out to me.
"It's scary to be alone in the dark, 'Black Emperor.'"
A pleasant voice echoed in my ears, as if cutting through the silence of the night.
I didn't even have to turn around to identify the person who spoke, so I continued looking at the moon.
——It was a beautiful moonlit night, and in the pitch-black darkness that filled everything, the bright moonlight clearly highlighted my figure standing in the darkness.
The place was the garden of the imperial castle, and... it was an unspoken rule in this castle that I didn't talk to anyone when I was alone looking at the moon, but...the person who spoke to me... He approached me without worrying about it.
"... Canopus? Did you come to such a distant place to make sarcasm?"
I muttered without taking my eyes off the moon.
Canopus, on the other hand, shook his head slightly as he stood next to me.
"Have fun. It's impossible for me to say anything sarcastic to His Majesty. It was unreasonable for me to arrive at such a time, but I've come to give a regular report from the Kingdom."
However, Canopus told me that he came from the kingdom to report at an unusual time, but he didn't reveal the contents right away and he started gazing at the moon side by my side, so I concluded that it didn't seem to be an urgent matter.
Canopus looked up at the moon and spoke in an emotionless voice.
"...The moon is truly beautiful tonight. For some reason, when I see a beautiful moon, I am reminded of my master. She especially liked the moon that illuminated the darkness of the night."
"…………"
"After this became known, the job of patrolling the royal castle at night became a competition among the knights. Everyone wanted to do the night patrol job, and the knights who were lucky enough to meet His Highness, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"
……I remember.
Imitating the famous literary master who replaced "Words of love" with "Words praising the moon," many knights who were concerned about that had at least expressed their feelings by pretending to convey the beauty of the moon.
"...That's right. I didn't notice it at all, and she said to the knights, 'The moon is certainly beautiful. She said things like, 'Knights are romantics'...I didn't understand her charm until the end."
Now, Canopus was the only person I could talk to about it.
The White Knight no longer approached me.
While thinking about this, I glanced up and met Canopus's worried expression.
...Since then, this man had been extremely worried about me.
He probably knew what I was thinking while gazing at the moon, and he was trying to get me to put it into words. To make my heart feel a little lighter by letting out what's in my heart.
I knew that, but I still didn't feel like talking about it in depth, so I tried to change the subject.
"What's the matter? Look at my face. It's not even an interesting face to look at."
Canopus understood my feelings and looked sad for a moment, but then blinked repeatedly to regain his composure.
"…Well, if I were a woman, I might have had fun just looking at His Majesty’s surprisingly handsome face, but unfortunately I’m a man. It’s not that much fun to look at. "
After saying that, Canopus let out a small breath.
"However, I would like to ask how the young lady in question felt... I heard that you killed the daughter of a duke who admired you and snuck into your sleeping quarters?"
Even though it was just a few days ago, I narrowed my eyes slightly, thinking it was too early to hear.
I thought that with his ability to gather information this high, he should already know the conclusion, but I opened my mouth thinking that there might be a point in denying it myself.
"Rumors tend to get louder. Just as I was about to finish, I was stopped by the knights who were waiting."
"In other words, if they couldn't stop me, were they planning on cutting her to death, right? It's almost the same thing."
Canopus shook his head in shock and looked up at the sky.
"However, young ladies tend to do useless things. I don’t think Your Majesty has the heart left to act now…"
I gave a small nod to Canopus' words.
"Ah, that's right. That day, that time, that place, my heart broke. It will never move again."
——Unless she came back to life.
However, the words I swallowed seemed to reach Canopus accurately.
As if to prove this, Canopus opened his mouth.
"...Lady Serafina was a person with high ambitions. She had a goal of 'sealing the Demon King,' so I still have the hope that she will come back someday to accomplish that goal."
I glanced at Canopus' body and shrugged my shoulders slightly.
"At that time, are you training your body to become an escort knight again? In the world of prayer, there is no need to train your body."
...However, contrary to my sarcastic words, in my heart I recognized the truth of Canopus's statement.
That was right, we needed hope to survive.
Hope, similar to prayer, it gave us the strength to survive tomorrow.
――My sins were deep, and unless I told myself that my life was for atonement, it was hard for me to stand still.
I was able to stay in this world by holding on to the hope that one day I would find that enemy and seal him away with my own hands.
The truth was... every time I looked up at the moon and thought about like I did tonight, my broken heart seemed to ache, but... I, who had no heart, thought that there was no way I could feel pain, and my weak heart said, I cut it and threw it away.